(from the email)

Guten tag! (or something)
I'm in Hamburg (er).
My train was almost an hour late into town so they gave us free tea and a bottle of water. And the announcer was very cute, he said "I am VERY sorry" like it was personally his fault, not the train in front with engine problems.
I found my way onto the subway, pressed random buttons on the ticket machine, put what moaney it asked of me into it, and hoped not to have to show it to any coppers (who are everywhere). Then at the other end I came out of the subway and peered around in the goofy way I have adopted as my "where the fuck is that thing?" way, and some guy laughed at me and pointed across the street, where the sign said hostel. Big letters too. So I made it to the hostel just fine. Then I came back downtown to use the internet, since my hostel is like someone's basement and there are no amenities. The guy at the desk didn't know how much the subway was, where a supermarket was, or where an internet cafe was.

I have to say, after using the keyboards of the world, I will be so glad to use an American one at the end of this trip. I can't find anything and there are all these weird letters.
I think to celebrate arriving in Germany tonight for dinner I will have a hamburger, in McDonalds. And a Budweiser from the 7-11. MMMMMMMM. Take that, world food! What is German food anyways? Please do not write and say "weinerschnitzel". I am trying to figure out where to go next, which is tricky given that I don't have a guidebook, a map, or any idea of the geography of Germany. After this, and maybe after my tasty Big Mac, I will walk back over to the Hauptbahnhof and see about a ticket to Munich, which is probably called "Mnnchnz" in German and I will have to resort to shouting again, just like China!
I hope I can get to Munich and meet my friend there as it will be too too good to see a smiling, familiar face. For that same reason I am also massively stoked to see my family in Berlin, but that's a week away still. . . . Sammy wrote to say he'll meet me at the station, which is freakin' fantastic.

In other words, I am wunderbar!!